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Quotes about humor

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A. Whitney BrownThat is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Bumper StickerDyslexics of the world, untie.
Burma ShaveOur last: / Farewell O verse / Along the road / How sad to see / You're out of mode
Burma ShaveThe salesman / Taught the / Farmer's daughter / To plant her tu-lips / Where she otter
Burma ShaveIf you must test / Her pucker paint / Be sure to drive / Where traffic ain't
Burma ShaveA man who passes / On hills and curves / Is not a / Man of iron nerves / He's crazy!
Burma ShaveFamous words / About lights that shine / If he won't dim his / I won't dim mine /
Burma ShaveDon't take / A curve at / Sixty per / We hate to lose / A customer
Burma ShaveIf hugging on highways / Is your sport / Trade in your car / For a davenport
Burma ShaveCar in ditch / Man in tree / Moon was full / So was he!
Burma ShaveSnake rail fences / And old log houses / Both were built / To keep out / Cowses
Burma ShaveYou can drive / A mile a minute / But there is no / Future in it
Burma ShaveThey missed the turn / The car went whizzin' / The fault was hern / The funeral hisn
Burma ShaveAngels who guard you / When you drive / Usually retire / At sixty-five
Burma ShaveThe car went whizzin' A nut at the wheel / A peach on his right / A curve in the road / Fruit salad that night
Burma ShaveDim your lights / Behind a car / Let folks see / How bright you are
Burma ShaveIf you don't know / Whose signs these are / You haven't driven / Very far!
Burma ShaveRound the curve / Lickety-split / Beautiful car / Wasn't it?
Burma ShaveThirty days / Hath September / April, June, / And the Speed Offender
Burma ShaveA Man, A Miss / A Car, A Curve / He kissed the Miss / And missed the Curve
Burma ShaveListen birds / These signs cost money / You can rest awhile / But don't get Funny
Burma ShaveDon't stick your elbow / Out too far / Or it may / Go home / In another car!
Burma ShaveThe one who / Drives when / He's been drinking / Depends on you / To do his thinking
Burma ShaveThe midnight / Ride of Paul / For beer / Led to a warmer / Hemishpere
Burma ShaveHe lit a match / To check gas tank / That's why / They call him / Skinless frank
Burma ShaveIf daisies / Are your / Favorite flower / Keep pushin' up those / Miles-per-hour
Burma ShaveMany a forest / Used to stand / Where a / Lighted match / Got out of hand
Burma ShaveDon't leave safety / To mere chance / That's why / Belts are / Sold with pants
Burma ShaveDon't / Try passing / On a slope / Unless you have / A periscope
Burma ShavePassing cars / When you can't see / May get you / A glimpse / Of eternity
Burma ShaveSaid farmer Brown / Who's bald / On top / Wish I could / Rotate the crop
Burma ShaveDrinking drivers-- / Nothing worse / They put / The quart / Before the hearse
Burma ShaveDoes your husband / Misbehave / Grunt and grumble / Rant and rave? / Shoot the brute some
Burma ShaveTake / Your / Time / Not / Your life
Burma ShaveCattle crossing / Means go slow / That old bull / Is some / Cow's beau
Burma ShaveThe blackened forest / Smoulders yet / Because / He flipped / A cigarette
Burma ShaveThe blackened forest / Smoulders yet / Because / He flipped / A cigarette
Burma ShaveThese signs / Are not / For laughs alone / The face they save / May be your own
Burma ShaveThe safest rule / No ifs or buts / Just drive / Like every one else / Is nuts!
Burma ShaveAround / The curve / Lickety-split / It's a beautiful car / Wasn't it?
Burma ShaveNo matter / The price / No matter how new / The best safety device / In your car is you
Burma ShaveIt gave / McDonald / That needed charm / Hello Hollywood / Good-by farm
Burma ShaveWhy is it / When you / Try to pass / The guy in front / Goes twice as fast?
Burma ShaveHis rose / Is wed / His violet blew / But his sugar is sweet / Since he took this cue
Burma ShaveBetter try / Less speed per mile / That car / May have to / Last a while
Burma ShaveIs he / Lonesome / Or just blind-- / This guy who drives / So close behind?
Burma ShaveHeaven's / Latest / Neophyte / Signalled left / Then turned right
Burma ShaveDrinking drivers / Don't you know / Great bangs / From little / Binges grow?
Burma ShaveSubstitutes / Can do / More harm / Than city fellers / On a farm
Burma ShaveProper / Distance / To him was bunk / They pulled him out / Of some guy's trunk
Burma ShaveThe band / For which / The grand stand roots / Is not made up of / Substi-toots!
Burma ShaveSpring / Has sprung / The grass has riz / Where last year's / Careless drivers is
Burma ShaveCautious rider / To her / Reckless dear / Let's have less bull / And lots more steer
Burma ShaveAltho insured / Remember, kiddo / They don't pay you / They pay / Your widow
Burma ShaveTrain approaching / Whistle squealing / Pause! / Avoid that / Rundown feeling!
Burma ShaveTrain wrecks few Reason clear / Fireman / Never hugs / Engineer
Burma ShaveHe tried / To cross / As fast train neared / Death didn't draft him / He volunteered
Burma ShaveHer chariot / Raced 80 per / They hauled away / What had / Ben Her
Burma ShaveViolets are blue / Roses are pink / On graves / Of those / Who drive and drink
Burma ShaveA guy / Who drives / A car wide open / Is not thinkin' / He's just hopin'
Burma ShaveTwinkle, twinkle / One-eyed car / We all wonder / WHERE you are
Burma ShaveThe place to pass / On curves / You know / Is only at / A beauty show
Burma ShaveOn curves ahead / Remember, sonny / That rabbit's foot / Didn't save / The bunny
Burma ShaveThe place to pass On curves You know Is only at A beauty show
Charlie Chaplin
(1889 - 1977)
In the end, everything is a gag.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
A pun is the lowest form of wit, It does not tax the brain a bit; One merely takes a word that's plain And picks one out that sounds the same.
E. B. White
(1899 - 1985)
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Frank TygerThe ultimate test of whether you posses a sense of humor is your reaction when someone tells you you don't.
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.
Jack Benny
(1894 - 1974)
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
James Thurber
(1894 - 1961)
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
James ThurberThe wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Jay Leno
(1950 - )
An airline passenger died suddenly during the flight, so he was moved into an empty seat in first class. Well, a little late for an upgrade, wasn't it?
Larry GelbartOne doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Mark Twain
(1835 - 1910)
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mel BrooksTradegy is when I cut my finger. comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die.
Stephen L. Millich
(1941 - )
A good sense of humor is no laughing matter
Stephen L. Millich
(1941 - )
A good sense of humor is no laughing matter.
Steven Wright
(1955 - )
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
unknownKnowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study Hard. Be evil.
unknownNever judge a good book by it's movie
unknownIf first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you.
unknownYou're unique...just like everybody else.
unknownLife's a bitch and seeing you, it looks like she just had babies.
unknownPerson 1: I have an eyelash in my my eye Person 2: Better than a rock.
unknownI am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
unknownI think I am; therefore I must be
unknownSnowmen are gifts from heaven; they just came assembly required.
Will Rogers
(1879 - 1935)
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
(1879 - 1935)
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
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