| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote | | Admiration | Dear God, please make me the person my dog thinks I am.
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| Aging | When you're my age, you don't plan ahead.
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| Be careful | Keep honking, I'm reloading.
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| bewilderment | Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
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| Church and State | Whose nation, under whose God? Keep church and state separate.
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| Compassion | Better a bleeding heart than none at all.
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| Drunks | D.A.M.M. -- Drunks Against Mad Mothers.
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| Environment | At least the war on the environment is going well.
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| George W. Bush | The Bush legacy: Leave no child a dime.
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| Humor | Dyslexics of the world, untie.
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| Immigration | Let's ask the Native Americans about our immigration policies.
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| Morale | Flogging will continue until morale improves.
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| Philosophy | That was Zen; this is Tao.
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| Real men | Real men don't set for stun.
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| Retirement | I'm retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
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| straight | I'm straight, but not narrow.
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| Stupidity | Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.
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| The economy | Not rich enough for a tax break.
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| USA | One nation, under surveillance.
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