| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote | | Actors | An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
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| Advertising | Advertising is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commision.
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| Boston | I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself there.
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| California | California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
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| Committees | Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
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| Committees | A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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| Conferences | A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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| Conversation | During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk, today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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| Hollywood | Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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| Humanity | If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign the human race.
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| Remembering | I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names -- and I can't remember what the third thing is.
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| Stupidity | What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
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| Television | Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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| Television | Television is regarded as a medium because so little of it is rare or well done.
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