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Quotes by Joey Adams

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AgingDo not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
BankruptcyBankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
ComputersThe computer can do more work faster than a human because it doesn't have to answer the phone.
GeniusA genius is one who can do anything except make a living.
IndolenceIf it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
MarriageMarriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
ParenthoodSmack your child every day. If you don't know why -- he does.
PsychiatristsA psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Stock marketThe difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
WitOf course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad-libs.
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