Image Library

Quotes by John Alejandro King, a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )


CategoryQuoteE-Mail this quote
'No More Mr. Nice Guy'The problem with saying 'From now on it's no more Mr. Nice Guy' is that you're providing advance notification, which is nice.
80-20 Rule80% of the 80-20 rule is 20% of it.
- (CIA research manager)
AuditoriumsIf hell is a half-filled auditorium, heaven is an empty one.
Carl SaganExtraordinary Carl Sagan impersonations require extraordinary turtleneck sweaters.
- (CIA research manager and/or cosmologist)
Casual SexCasual sex causes sexual casualties. I got laid for coming up with that.
Central Intelligence AgencyThe difference between a Top Secret document, and a document designated 'For Official Use Only,' is that the latter can be used as a doorstop in any US Government facility, while the former may only serve this function inside a secure US Government vault.
- ('America's funniest covert intelligence officer!')
Challenge/PasswordChallenge: 'If we had to pay for our stupidity, many would go bankrupt.' Password: If we had to pay for our stupidity, to declare bankruptcy wouldn't be stupid.
CIASecret 1594032238. Once a NOC, never a NOC.
CluelessnessTo be excessively clueful is an extreme form of cluelessness.
ConfusionThe state of confusion has more than two senators.
DiplomacyChaos is the greatest impediment to, and most useful result of, rational diplomacy.
Drinking AloneTo drink alone is to buy a round for the whole universe.
FlagsThe Australian flag is noteworthy in that, cosmologically speaking, it's becoming less accurate with every passing second. By contrast, the cosmological accuracy of the American flag is actually increasing over time.
FutureI bet whoever first said 'The future is now!' feels like a total idiot today.
Jokes and GodIf you could tell God just one joke, what would it be?
MediocrityWhen I'm mediocre, I'm very mediocre. But when I'm average, I'm mediocreer.
MotivationalFortune favors those in motion. And don't forget, oozing is a type of motion.
NostalgiaWhy can't things be like they weren't?
- (notorious CIA officer and pundit)
Paper, Rock, ScissorsProposal for resolving the 'paper defeats rock' controversy: eliminate paper, rock and scissors altogether, and replace them with the following more realistic hierarchy: intercontinental ballistic missile pellet gun mouse chewing on power chord.
Politics*All* bedfellows are strange.
- (America's funniest covert intelligence officer)
Saying Something NiceI assume the phrase 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything' is a nice thing to say.
SpyingThere's nae business like spae business.
SupernaturalBelieve in the supernatural? Friend, back in the 1970's when they sold Afro-Sheen, I personally witnessed the supernatural on a daily basis.
TechnologyEinstein said that our technology has exceeded our humanity. But according to Einstein's theory of relativity, this isn't supposed to happen for another 14.2 years.
Thick Line between Love and LoveThere's a big thick line between love and love.
- (CIA research manager, poet and covert activist)
TimesIt was the best of times, it was the worst of times; and perhaps not surprisingly, it was also the median of times.
WealthThere's untold wealth in Africa, and untold Africa in wealth.
Yin YangWhy 'yin yang?' Why not yang yin?
Home Sign Up Leave List Search Submit Quote
Contact us Privacy Statement Disclaimer
Copyright 2001-2004 White Plume Ltd., All rights reserved.