| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote | | Aspirations | We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.
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| Belief | Oh, what a tangled web we weave /
When first we practice to believe.
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| Bureaucracy | Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
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| Christians | Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.
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| Compexity | Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
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| Confusion | If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
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| Debt | We pay the debts of the last generation by issuing bonds payable by the next generation.
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| Democracy | Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
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| Economists | An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
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| Education | Education is a method wherby one acquires a higher grade of predjudices.
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| Expertise | Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
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| Failure | There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.
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| Flattery | You can flatter any man by telling him he's the kind of man who can't be flattered.
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| Friendship | You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you’ve done a permanent job.
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| Human relations | The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
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| Incompetence | The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.
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| Money management | Two can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs.
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| Opinion | When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
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| Opportunity | Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
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| Optimism | An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.
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| plagiarism | If you steal ideas from one person, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
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| Psychiatry | Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
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| Rich and poor | What troubles the poor is the money they can't get, and what troubles the rich is the money they can't keep.
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| sociologist | A sociologist is a scientist who blames crime on everything and everyone, except the person who commits it.
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