Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote |
---|---|---|
Age | When I turned 65 I came to the terrible realization that my life was almost half over. | |
Alzheimer's Disease | Regarding Alzheimers, if you forget you forgot, forget it. | |
America | America is the land of the free, if you can afford it. | |
Apathy | Give a rat's ass. - (First uttered in 1962 at the Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity house in Berkeley, CA.) | |
Apathy | Give a rat's a_ _. - (First uttered in 1962 at the Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity house in Berkeley, CA.) | |
Certainty | I may be wrong but I'm never uncertain. | |
Death | If you live long enough something will kill you | |
Epitaph | I'd rather have my epitaph read: "There's been a terrible mistake" rather than "Here lies one." | |
Fakes | If you can fake it, it's the real deal. | |
Family | You can change your Levis but not your genes. | |
Fun | Having fun should be taken seriously. | |
Golf | The game of golf prepares you for the frustrations of marriage and fatherhood. | |
Golf | Continuing to play golf is like a second marriage, a triumph of hope over experience. | |
Government | Democracy is the most equitable form of government because, in it, greed and corruption are most widely spread. | |
Government | It is a noble purpose of government to provide jobs for those of us who are otherwise unemployable. | |
Gun Control | Handguns should be banned. Most people are likely to miss. | |
Happiness | MORE will not make you happy. | |
History | What we learn from history is that we never learn. | |
Hubris | Only the hubris of man could have allowed him to create God in his own image. | |
Hubris | Only the hubris of man allowed him to create God in his own image. | |
Humanity | You cannot save people from themselves. | |
Idiots | Mankind has consistently shown that nothing is idiot proof. | |
Justice | The lofty concept of justice, to most people, really means thatI get what I want and I want it now. | |
Justice | The lofty concept of justice, to most people, really means that I get what I want and I want it now. | |
Law | A lawsuit is a necesssary waste of time. | |
Lawyers | The only thing worse than "Trust me, I'm a lawyer" is "Trust me, I'm your lawyer." | |
Lawyers | The insult is the greatest form of praise one lawyer can have for another. | |
Life | The only constant in life is change. | |
Longevity | Longevity is punishment for outliving your peers. | |
Love | When you fall in love, it is much easier to spend more dollars than sense. | |
Marriage | If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone trying a third should not be allowed to escape through death. | |
Marriage | If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone involved in a third should not be allowed to escape through death. | |
Memory | I have a good memory; it's just a short one. | |
Money | Money is no object if someone else pays. | |
Morality | Being right does not make it right. | |
Music | Music is the only language that survived the Tower of Babel. | |
Nostalgia | Things aren't like they used to be; but then again, they never were. | |
Oxymoron | Oxymoron: Christian businessman | |
Politics | I have too much compassion to be a conservative and too much sense to be a liberal. | |
Politics | Libertarian: Someone who believes people should take care of themselves, especially when they can't. | |
Politics | It's amazing how people enter politics to help and end up helping themselves. | |
Politics | The problem with liberals is that they have never eaten with their own teeth. | |
Politics | Democrats are people who will give the shirt off your back | |
Politics | Democrats are people who will give another the shirt off your back. | |
Rap Music , Global Warming | Rap music is irrefutable proof of global warming. | |
Religion | Christianity was destroyed by religion. | |
Society | The greatest moving force in any society is inertia. | |
Success | If you don't succeed, at least you are a successful failure. | |
Success | Success belongs to those who appear to be shallow and superficial as an accident of birth or by shrewd design. | |
Truth | Truth is rarely an ally of good intentions. | |
Weeds | Weeds are like Jehovah Witnesses, there's no quit in them | |
Weeds | Weeds are like Jehovah Witnesses, there's no quit in them. | |
Women | A woman begins to need a man when she realizes self-torture will no longer suffice. | |
Women | One woman is as bad as another but some are better than others. |
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