Quotes by unknown

Category	Quote	E-Mail this quote
Abstinence	Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Aging	At my age the only reason I'd start exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Anarchy	Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
Bureaucracy	Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
Cats	Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Christians	He's a born-again Christian. The trouble is, he suffered brain damage during rebirth
computer programming	It's all a bunch of 1's and 0's, how hard could it be?
Computers	In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
Computers	All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
Computers	There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Death	I want to be burried upside down; so that the world can kiss my ass.
demotivation	hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off right now
demotivation	a journey of a thousand miles can sometimes end very very badly
Fashion	Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Feminism	Adams rib and satans fib ended up in womens lib.
Fools	Fools rush in where fools have been before.
Fools	Barnum was wrong - it's more like every 30 seconds.
Freedom	The clash of ideas is the sound of freedom.
Friends	If you loan a friend $100 and never see him again, it was probably money well-spent. - (Quoted by NBA Hall-of-Famer Rick Barry)
Friendship	A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.
Fur	People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
general	I feel more like I did when I got here than I do now.
Generalizations	All general statements are false.
Gentlemen	A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
God	There is no god, and Murphy is his prophet.
God	If god really is an old Jewish fart is the sky, it explains a whole lot.
Health	The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
Hesitation	He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Hope	Put Hope in one hand and take a crap in the other-tell me which one fills up first.
humor	Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study Hard. Be evil.
humor	Never judge a good book by it's movie
humor	If first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you.
humor	You're unique...just like everybody else.
humor	Life's a bitch and seeing you, it looks like she just had babies.
humor	Person 1: I have an eyelash in my my eye Person 2: Better than a rock.
humor	I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
humor	I think I am; therefore I must be
humor	Snowmen are gifts from heaven; they just came assembly required.
Insanity	I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Insanity	I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it. - (seen on a t-shirt)
Insanity	Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the results to be different.
Kleptomania	Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Life	Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Life	No one is a virgin, because life has screwed us all.
life	Impetus ad periculum/I run to danger
logic	If life was logical - men would ride sidesaddle
Love	Not all men are bastards!!!! Some are dead.
Memory	It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
Misc.	He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.
MIsc.	Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Misc.	My Karma ran over your dogma.
Morning	Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
People	Half the people you meet are below average.
Power	All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
Predators	An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Questioning	What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
Seattle	How can you tell when summer has come in Seattle? The rain gets warmer.
Shaping up	I've dieted and worked out, and now I have the body of a god; unfortunately, it's Buddha.
Sin	The wages of sin are unreported.
Sky-Diving	If at first you don't succeed, so much for sky-diving.
Smoking	Cigarette smoking is a major cause of statistics.
Stealing	Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Stupidity	I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
Stupidity	Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Stupidity	The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Supidity	Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Tact	Tact is the art of letting people think they know what they're talking about.
Talk	After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.
Television	The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Time	A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
Universe	Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
War	I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
War	At home they give you the chair. Here they give you a medal! - (Spoken from a soldier to an officer during the Zulu War)
War	Join the army! Meet new people! Kill them!
Whack	The copier is currently out of whack. More whack is on order.
Wisdom	A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
Women	The weakest part of my body is a woman's eyes.
Words	Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Words	Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
Work	All work and no play makes jack, and lots of it.
Work	Work fascinates me --I could sit and watch it all day.

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