Quotes by Voltaire
(1694 - 1778)

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Animals	Animals have these advantages over man: they have no theologians to instuct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no starts lawsuits over their wills.
Canada	A few acres of snow. - (On Canada)
Clergy	A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to live without working at the expense of the rascals who work to live.
Doctors	The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
Doctors	Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.
England	England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.
Friends	May God defend me from my friends, I can defend myself from my enimies.
God	If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
God	If God did not exist, it would be neccessary to invent Him.
God	God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Government	In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of the citizens to give to the other.
Government	It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
History	God in all of his omnipotence can't change the past. That's why he created historians.
Ideas	Man can only have a certian number of teeth, hairs, and ideas. There comes a time when he necessarily loses his teeth, his hair, and his ideas.
Ideas	We use ideas merely to justify our evil, and speech merely to conceal our ideas.
Ingnorance	The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
Lawsuits	I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
Life	In the great game of human life one begins by being a dupe and ends by being a rogue.
Manners	To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
Marraige	Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Money	When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. - (on missionaries)
Music	Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Optimism	Optimism is the madness of maintaining that everything is right when it is wrong.
People	Once the people begin to reason, all is lost
Prayer	I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Religion	It is said that God is always on the side of the big battalions.
Shakespeare	"Hamlet" is a coarse and barbarous play . . . One might think the work is a product of a drunken savages imagination.
Speach	I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.
Success	To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
War	It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. - (philosopher)
Wit	A witty saying proves nothing.

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