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Quotes about Age

AuthorQuoteE-Mail this quote
Aaron Burr
(1756 - 1836)
Never do today what you can do tomorrow. Something may occur to make you regret your premature action.
- (Killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel in 1804.)
Alan Patrick HerbertThe conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
Allan James Morton
(1962 - )
Marriage, Mortgage and Children....Lifes Full Catastrophe!
Ambrose BierceLove, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Anatole France
(1844 - 1924)
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
AnonymousYou are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
AnonymousThere's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
AnonymousLosing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
AnonymousRepel them, repel them, make them relinquish the ball.
- (Yale college cheer)
AnonymousUse it up, wear it out; Make it do, or do without.
- (New England maxim)
Barry SwitzerSome people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 - 1790)
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 - 1790)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Beryl PfizerI wonder what language truck drivers are using, now that everyone is using theirs?
Bette DavisOld age ain't no place for sissies.
Bill CosbyWives don't want to hear what husbands think. Wives want to hear what they themselves think, but in a deeper voice.
Cary Grant
(1904 - 1986)
When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are.
- (actor)
Chantal SapersteinAll marriages are mixed marriages.
Charles M. Schulz
(1922 - 2000)
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Christopher MorleyThe trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.
Clint EastwoodThere's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Conan O'BrienGeneral Motors announced that they are ending their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. When asked why, a spokesperson for General Motors said, "Tiger Woods is successful, competitive, and popular. And that's just not us."
Dan Quayle
(1947 - )
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
Dennis MillerNever ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
It is commonly a weak man who marries for love.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
I believe marriages would in general be as happy, and often more so, if they were all made by the Lord Chancellor, upon a due consideration of characters and circumstances, without the parties having any choice in the matter.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
The triumph of hope over experience.
Duane Gibson
(1934 - )
Turning 70 is one of those telling times. When people tell you what to do, tell them to go to hell!
E. M. ForsterI would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.
Edward Abbey
(1927 - 1989)
Married couples who quarrel bitterly every day may really need each other as deeply as those who appear to be desperately in love.
Eric Smith
(1961 - )
Are you kidding me? I'm not stupid!.....anymore.
Eve BabitzBy the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
G. C. LichtenbergPerhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 - 1950)
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
George Bernard ShawMarriage is popular because ir combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
George Burns
(1896 - 1996)
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GodLoved the wedding -- now invite me to the marriage.
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho MarxA man is as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.
H. H. Munro
(1870 - 1916)
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
H. L. Mencken
(1880 - 1956)
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties hi is at the maximum of his villainy.
H. L. MenckenHe marries best who puts it off until it is too late.
Heinrich HeineThe Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.
Helen Rowland
(1876 - 1950)
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Helen RowlandMarriage: a souvenir of love.
Henry Ford
(1863 - 1947)
It is not the employer who pays wages -- he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages.
Herbert Henry AsquithYouth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Honore' de Balzac
(1799 - 1850)
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
Horace SmithCourage is the fear of being thought a coward.
Horace WalpoleThe only lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, seperation.
Irvin Shrewsbury CobbMiddle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
Jack Benny
(1894 - 1974)
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jean Rostand
(1894 - 1977)
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
Joan RiversTrust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joey Adams
(1911 - 1999)
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Johann kaspar LavaterHow many women would laugh at the funeral of their husbands if it were not the custom to weep?
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicAgent-in-place? Your place or mine?
Joseph HellerI couldn't see tying myself down to a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own.
Joseph Wood KrutchBoth the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.
Kim HubbardBoys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Laurence J. PeterTwo can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs.
Lily Lumiere
(1910 - )
Youth is wasted on the young.
- (R.S.V.P. This quote did not originate with Mlle. Lumiere, our curmudgeonly contributor tells us, its author's identity having been lost in the irascible [and faintly plagiaristic] Lily's remarkable antiquity...)
Lord ByronAll tragedies are finished by death; all comedies are ended by marriage.
Lucille BallThe secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucius Annaeus SenecaAs was his language so was his life.
Mae West
(1892 - 1980)
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
Mae West
(1892 - 1980)
You're never too old to become younger.
Marie CorelliI never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home that serve the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
Mark Twain
(1835 - 1910)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
Mark TwainAge is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Maurice ChevalierOld age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Mohammad AliMy toughest fight was with my first wife.
MontaigneA good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.
Nick FaldoWe were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
Ogden Nash
(1902 - 1971)
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Oscar LevantMairrage is a triumph of habit over hate.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 - 1900)
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything
Oscar Wilde
(1854 - 1900)
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Paul TillichThe courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.
Peter UstinovIf the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
R. F. Martin
(1945 - Not yet!)
It seems like the 'GOLD' in the golden years became extremely tarnished and unrecognizable long before I arrived.
- (Let's all give the 'GY' a good old Bronx Cheer!)
Ralph W. Sockman
(1889 - 1970)
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority; the test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
- (US religious leader)
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(1803 - 1882)
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
Ray BandyHoneymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
Robert Benchley
(1889 - 1945)
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
(1889 - 1945)
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert FrostTime and tide wait for no man- but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
Russell Baker
(1925 - )
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1882 - 1974)
If you want to send a message, use Western Union.
Samuel Taylor ColeridgeThe most happy marriage I can picture . . . would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Solomon ShortTo be better than average, you only have to be better than half.
Stephen L. Millich
(1941 - )
I am at that age where I am relieved when an ambulance passes by without stopping.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
When I turned 65 I came to the terrible realization that my life was almost half over.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone trying a third should not be allowed to escape through death.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone involved in a third should not be allowed to escape through death.
Steven WrightHalf the people you know are below average.
Steven WrightThe sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
The Firesign TheatreHello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute.
Tom StoppardWe are tied down to a language which makes up in obscurity what it lacks in style.
Walt HaskinsTo many, the marriage vows are only a series of trick questions to be answer later, maybe.
- (Author of Comments USA)
Walt HaskinsWomen who mar for money are just hookers with higher prices and more patience.
- (Author- Comments USA)
Walt HaskinsWomen who marry for money are merely hookers with higher prices and more patience
- (Author of )
Willa CatherThe dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
Wilson MiznerThe days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
Winston Churchill
(1874 - 1965)
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
Zsa Zsa GaborI know what to do, but I'm not sure how to make it interesting.
Zsa Zsa GaborGetting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
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