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| Author | Quote | E-Mail this quote |
|---|---|---|
| Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) | Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish | |
| Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) | Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
- (German-born American physicist) | |
| Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870) | If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted upon men, He would kill himself. | |
| Andre Breton | For me the single work "God" suggests everything that is slippery, shady, sqalid, foul and grotesque. | |
| Anonymous | If God was proven to exist beyond a shadow of a doubt, I would not pray to Him...I would curse Him. | |
| Anton Szandor LaVey (4/11/30 - 10/29/97) | Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years! | |
| Aristotle (384 - 322 b.c.) | The gods too are fond of a joke. | |
| Art Hoppe | If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? | |
| C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963) | There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.' - (From "The Great Divorce") | |
| Don Device (1965 - 1993) | God shrinks as the universe expands. | |
| don device (19966 - ) | If God created Man in his image, then he shouldn't have used such shoddy workmanship. | |
| Emily Dickinson | They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse. | |
| Fran Lebowitz | I do not believe in God, I believe in cashmere. | |
| Friedrich Nietzche | Woman was God's second mistake. | |
| Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) | i cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. | |
| Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) | Which is it; is man one of God's blunders, or is God on of man's blunders? | |
| Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) | I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. | |
| George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) | Beware of the man whose God is in the skies. | |
| George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) | There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a moment's notice to reveal the Will of God on every possible subject. | |
| George Gallup | I could prove God statistically. | |
| Georges Duhamel | I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. | |
| Gypsy Rose Lee | God is love, but get it in writing. | |
| H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) | Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable. | |
| H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) | Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. | |
| H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) | It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him. | |
| H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) | God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the misrable. They find not oly sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated ego's; He will set them above their betters. | |
| Irv Kupcinet | What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive? | |
| J. B. S. Haldane | He seems to have an inordinate fondess for beetles. - (about God) | |
| James Joyce | God may be a cry in the street. - (Author) | |
| Jean Rostand | God, that dumping ground of our dreams. | |
| Jewish Proverb | If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. | |
| John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic | If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house? | |
| John Lennon | God is a concept by which we measure our pain. | |
| Jules Renard | I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't. | |
| Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 BCE - 65 CE) | Call it Nature, Fate, Fortune; all these are names of the one and selfsame God. - (Roman philosopher) | |
| Luis Bunuel | I'm still an atheist, thank God. | |
| Matt Frewer | Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that! | |
| Oliver Wendell Holmes | God's plan made a hopeful beginning. But man spoiled his chances by sinning. We trust that the story will end in God's glory. But, at present, the other side's winning. | |
| Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) | I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability. | |
| Otis Beck (1979 - ) | If God chooses every nation's leaders, that is not because He believes they can do the job. That gesture shows that He has a great sense of humor. | |
| Paul Valery | God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. | |
| Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993) | It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. | |
| Robert A. Heinlein | God is too big to fit into one religion. | |
| Sir Julian Huxley | Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat. | |
| Stendhal | The only excuse for God is that he dosn't exist. | |
| Unknown | There is no god, and Murphy is his prophet. | |
| Unknown | If god really is an old Jewish fart is the sky, it explains a whole lot. | |
| Unkown | God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project. | |
| Voltaire (1694 - 1778) | If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated. | |
| Voltaire (1694 - 1778) | If God did not exist, it would be neccessary to invent Him. | |
| Voltaire (1694 - 1778) | God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. | |
| Wilson Mizner | God help those who do not help themselves. | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. |
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