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| Author | Quote | E-Mail this quote |
|---|---|---|
| Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) | If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. | |
| Alexander Smith | A man gazing at the stars is poverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road. | |
| Buckaroo Banzai | And remember, no matter where you go, there you are. | |
| Carlos A. Urbizo | Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. | |
| Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962) | I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. | |
| Elliot Smorodinsky | I see your point... and raise you a line. | |
| Emile Coue | Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. | |
| Evan Davis | Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. | |
| Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) | At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. | |
| Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) | Go, and never darken my towels again. | |
| H.P. Lovecraft | The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. | |
| Henry J. Tillman | If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. | |
| Herbert Rappaport | I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. | |
| Hughes Mearns | As I was walking up the stair /n I met a man who wasn't there /n He wasn't there again today. /n I wish, I wish he'd stay away. | |
| Isaac Newton | If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants. | |
| Jimmy Buffett | If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me | |
| Jorge Luis Borges (1899 - 1996) | The Falklands thing was a fight between two bald men over a comb. - (Argentinean writer and poet) | |
| Karen Elizabeth Gordon | Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on. | |
| Kurt Cobain (1967 - 1994) | Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. | |
| Leslie Nielsen | Who are you and how did you get in here? - I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith. | |
| Lily Tomlin (1939 - ) | I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. | |
| Lily Tomlin (1939 - ) | I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. | |
| Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) | Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. | |
| Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) | Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. | |
| Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) | It is easier to stay out than get out. | |
| Marshall McLuhan | I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. | |
| Michael McClary | Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. | |
| Olin Miller | You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. | |
| Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) | So little time and so little to do. | |
| Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) | Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. | |
| Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) | Only the shallow know themselves. | |
| P. B. Medawar | The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it. | |
| P. J. O'Rourke | With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life. | |
| Robert Byrne (1917 - ) | Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo. | |
| Robert Byrne (1917 - ) | Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. | |
| Ron Nesen | Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. | |
| Russell Baker | Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. | |
| Russell Baker | The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. | |
| Sasha Guitry (1885 - 1957) | Memory is the only Paradise out of which we cannot be driven! - (French playwright) | |
| Steven Pearl | I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. | |
| Steven Wright | You can't have everything. Where would you put it? | |
| Steven Wright | It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. | |
| Steven Wright | I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. | |
| Steven Wright | It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. | |
| Steven Wright | I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. | |
| Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) | Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. | |
| Tommy Cooper | Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. | |
| Umberto Eco | I felt like poisoning a monk. | |
| Unknown | He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch. | |
| Unknown | Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? | |
| Unknown | My Karma ran over your dogma. | |
| Wendell Johnson | Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. | |
| Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) | Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. | |
| William Safire | Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. | |
| Willie Tyler | The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time. | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? | |
| Woody Allen (1935 - ) | Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. |
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