Quotes about W

Author	Quote	E-Mail this quote
Bertolt Brecht	War is like love; it always finds a way.
C.E. Montague	War hath no fury like a noncombatant.
John Dryden	War is a trade of kings.
Will Rogers	You can't say civilization don't advance. For every war, they kill you a new way.
A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963)	I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A. Whitney Brown	A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)	Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln	My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Abraham Lincoln	Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
Adolf Hitler	There is only one right in the world and that right is one's own strength.
Adolfo Pérez Esquivel	Bush says he prays. But I think God covers up his ears when George Bush prays. - ((1980 Nobel Peace Prize))
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)	You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)	I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)	The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)	If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German, and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.
Albert Einstein	If I had known that the Germans would not succeed in constructing the atom bomb, I would never have lifted a finger.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)	As long as there are men, there will be wars.
Albert Einstein	We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
Alcuin of York (735 - 804)	You should not agree to have anything to do with weapons of war.
Aleks Hindin	Amateurs talk about tactics. Professionals talk about logistics.
Alexander Hamilton (1755 - 1804)	Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome. I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint
Alfred E. Neuman	We are living in a world today when lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)	It [the Legion of Honor] is taken rather seriously by those who have recieved it.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)	Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)	Lawsuit, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)	Lawyer, n. One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
American Roadbuilder’s Association	The truth is, the local people are not entirely aware of their best interests.
Anatole France (1844 - 1924)	The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)	If a young writer can refrain from writing, he shouldn't hesitate to do so.
Andy Gibb	Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.
Andy Rooney (1919 - )	Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Anne Frank (1929 - 1945)	What one Christian does is his own responsibility; what one Jew does is thrown back at all Jews.
Anonymous	What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? He gets taller.
Anonymous	There's no real need to do housework - after four years it doesn't get any worse.
Anonymous	The Eskimo language has 80 different words for "snow" -- probably all cuss words.
Anonymous	You can have a million dollars in the bank and be controlled by money. You can have nothing but the shirt on your back and be controlled by money.
Anonymous	There's no such thing as unskilled labor. Every job has a learning curve.
Anonymous	"Holy war" is an oxymoron.
Anonymous	He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Anonymous	The underworld risks much and works hard to steal from others. Is it worth the effort?
Anonymous	Somewhere in Texas a village is missing its idiot.
Anonymous	George W. Bush's method of governing: Ready, fire, aim.
Anonymous	If a man speaks in the forest where no woman can hear, is he still wrong?
Anonymous sign over a chaplains bunker at Con Thien, 1967	It’s a small war, God, but it’s the only one we’ve got.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944)	If it is true that wars are won by believers, it is also true that peace treaties are sometimes signed by businessmen. - (aviator and author)
Aristophanes (450 BC - 385 BC)	I am amazed that anyone who has made a fortune should send for his friends.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947 - )	Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
Arnold Toynbee	The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.
Artemus Ward (1834 - 1867)	I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.
Artemus Ward (1834 - 1867)	It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble, it's the things we do know that just ain't so.
Ashleigh Brilliant	All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power
Aspen Daily News	If you don't want it printed, don't let it happen.
Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982)	If some men are entitled by right to the products of the work of others, it means that those others are deprived of rights and condemned to slave labor.
Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982)	Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think.
Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982)	Every movement that seeks to enslave a country, every dictatorship or potential dictatorship, needs some minority group as a scapegoat which it can blame for the nation's troubles and use as a justification of its own demand for dictatorial powers. In Soviet Russia, the scapegoat was the bourgeoisie; in Nazi Germany, it was the Jewish people; in America, it is the businessmen.
Bagdikian's Observation	Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukelele.
Barbara Bush (1925 - )	War is not nice.
Ben Hecht	Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)	When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.
Benjamin Disraeli	Assassination has never changed the history of the world.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)	A little house well filled, a little field well tilled, and a little wife well willed, are great riches.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)	Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
Benjamin Franklin	There never was a good war or a bad peace.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)	If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)	There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)	One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell	War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Bertrand Russell	The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Bismark	After all, war is, proplerly speaking, the natural condition of humanity.
Bobby Knight	All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
Bumper sticker	The Bush legacy: Leave no child a dime.
Bumper sticker	Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Butch and Sundance	You do this right and I'll get you an old dog to kick. - ((a line from the film))
Carl Reiner	A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)	... Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.
Charles de Gaulle (1890 - 1970)	Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.
Charles Emerson Winchester III	I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies.
Charles Ives	Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity.
Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)	Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)	I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
Christina Stead	If all the rich people in the world divided up their money amongst themselves there wouldn't be enough to go around.
Clausewitz	The best strategy is always to be very strong.
Cleveland Amory (1917 - 1998)	The New England conscience does not stop you from doing what you shouldn't -- it just stops you from enjoying it.
Conan O'Brien	Barack Obama announced that next month he wants to spend a week on vacation in Hawaii. After hearing about it, President Bush said, "I can't believe he's taking another trip to a foreign country."
Cullen Hightower	Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)	Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
Dan Quayle (1947 - )	People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
Darrin Weinberg	It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Dave Barry	If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.
David Brin	It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.
David Letterman (1947 - )	Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
David Letterman (1947 - )	New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
David Letterman (1947 - )	People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
De La Lastra's Corollary	After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.
De La Lastra's Law	After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Dick Gregory (1932 - )	Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)	When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)	Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Donald Barthelme	This muck heaves and palpitates. It is multidirectional and has a mayor. - (on New York City)
Dorothy Day	No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless. There is too much work to do. - (Peace Activist)
Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)	From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35 she needs good looks; from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.
Doug Larson	Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	He did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	On Lord Chesterfield….'This man I thought had been a Lord among wits; but, I find, he is only a wit among Lords!'
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	Men know that women are an over-match for them, and therefore they choose the weakest or most ignorant. If they did not think so, they never could be afraid of women knowing as much as themselves.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	The man who threatens the world is always ridiculous; for the world can easily go on without him, and in a short time will cease to miss him.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	I pitied a friend before him, who had a whining wife that found every thing painful to her, and nothing pleasing -- "He does not know that she whimpers (says Johnson); when a door has creaked for a fortnight together, you may observe -- the master will scarcely give sixpence to get it oiled."
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	To proportion the eagerness of contest to its importance seems too hard a task for human wisdom. The pride of wit has kept ages busy in the discussion of useless questions, and the pride of power has destroyed armies, to gain or to keep unprofitable possessions.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	If it rained knowledge, I'd hold out my hand; but I would not give myself the trouble to go in quest of it.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	There is, indeed, nothing that so much seduces reason from vigilance, as the thought of passing life with an amiable woman.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	Let me smile with the wise, and feed with the rich.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1707 - 1784)	Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.
Dr. Samuel Johnson	Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.
Drew Carey	Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar!
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)	Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. - (U.S. general and 34th president)
Dwight D. Eisenhower	The world in arms is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)	The free world must not prove itself worthy of its own past.
Edgar Bergen (1903 - 1978)	Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	If wilderness is outlawed, only outlaws can save wilderness.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	The most striking thing about the rich is the gracious democracy of their manners -- and the crude vulgarity of their way of life.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	The more corrupt a society, the more numerous its laws.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	No wonder the authorities are so anxious to smother wilderness under asphalt and reservoirs. They know what they're doing; their lives depend on it, and all their rotten institutions.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	The tragedy of modern war is that the young men die fighting each other -- instead of their real enemies back home in the capitals.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	New Yorkers like to boast that if you can survive in New York, you can survive anywhere. But if you can survive anywhere, why live in New York?
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they'd be intolerable.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	There is no shortage of water in the desert but exactly the right amount -- unless you try to establish a city where no city should be.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	Power is always dangerous. Power attracts the worst and corrupts the best.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)	Always pull up survey stakes anywhere you find them. -- George Washington Hayduke of The Monkey Wrench Gang
Elaine Boosler	I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart	The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.
Emo Phillips (1956 - )	I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government Pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference."
Erasmus	Dulce bellum inexpertis [War is delightful to those who have no experience of it]
Ernest Shackleton	If I had not some strength of will I would make a first class drunkard.
Etienne, Comte de Nansouty	Horses have no patriotism; soldiers fight without bread, but horses insist on oats.
Eugene Robinson	Coherent speech is not one of George W. Bush's gifts. - (Washington Post columnist)
Evelle J. Younger (1903 - 1966)	An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attornety can delay one even longer.
Foch	My centre gives way, my right is pushed back, situation excellent, I am attacking.
Fran Lebowitz	Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Francois Rebelais	A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell.
Frank Lloyd Wright	Prison towers and modern posters for soap and whiskey. - (on New York City)
Franklin D. Roosevelt	The hopes of the Republic cannot forever tolerate either undeserved poverty or self-serving wealth.
Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)	Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Frederic Raphael	Awards are like hemorrhoids; in the end, every asshole gets one.
Frederick Locker-Lampson	The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful.
Frederick the Great	God is always with the strongest battalion.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)	Is Wagner actually a man? Is he not rather a disease? Everything he touchs falls ill. He has made music sick.
Friedrich Nietzsche	How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy.
G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)	What a glorious garden of wonders the lights of Broadway would be to anyone lucky enough to be unable to read.
Gen. David Petraeus (1952 - )	Tell me how this ends. - (during invasion of Iraq by U.S. military)
General George Patton (1885 - 1945)	The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
George Ada (1866 - 1944)	Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)	The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)	Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
George Bernard Shaw	Nothing is ever done in this world until men are prepared to kill one another if it is not done.
George Carlin (1938 - )	Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George MacDonald (1824 - 1905)	Work is not always required... there is such a thing as sacred idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected. - (minister, author, and creater of the fanstay gendre)
George Orwell (1903 - 1950)	The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.
George Orwell	The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.
George W. Bush	They have no disregard for human life. - (re terrorists)
George Wallace	Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
Georges Clemenceau (1841 - 1929)	War is a series of disasters which result in a winner.
Georges Clemenceau (1841 - 1929)	War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men.
Georges Clemenceau (1841 - 1929)	I don't know whether war is an interlude during peace, or peace an interlude during war.
Glaser and Way	The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Gloria Borger	For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.
God	Don't make me come down there again.
Goering, Hermann	Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. - (Nazi Reichsmarschall)
Goethe (1749 - 1832)	When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours. - (to Anwar Sadat just before the peace talks)
Golda Meir	Women's liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	There's no difference between one's killing and making decisions that will send others to kill. It's exactly the same thing, or even worse.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	I have given instructions that I be informed every time one of our soldiers is killed, even if it is in the middle of the night. When President Nasser leaves instructions that he is to be awakened in the middle of the night if an Egyptian soldier is killed, there will be peace.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	I don't know why you use a fancy French word like détente when there's a good English phrase for it -- cold war.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	It is true we have won all our wars, but we have paid for them. We don't want victories anymore.
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	We have always said that in our war with the Arabs we had a secret weapon -- no alternative. - (Prime Minister, Israel)
Golda Meir (1898 - 1978)	To be successful, a woman has to be much better at her job than a man.
Graffito	I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)	Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx	Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	The trouble with New York is that it has no nationality at all. It is simply a sort of free port -- a place, where the raw materials of civilization are received, sorted out , and sent further on.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	New York: A third-rate Babylon.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	The New England shopkeepers and theologians never really developed a civilization; all they ever developed was a government. They were, at their best, tawdry and tacky fellows, oafish in manner and devoid of imagination.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)	Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.
Harry Hershfield	New York: Where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?
Henry David Thoreau	A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can let alone.
Henry David Thoreau	The way by which you may get money almost without exception leads downward.
Henry David Thoreau	What is human warfare but just this: an effort to make the laws of God and nature take sides with one party.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	Wood stumps warmed me twice -- once while I was splitting them, and again when they were on the fire.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only. Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	All this worldly wisdom was once the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)	It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. - (Naturalist)
Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)	A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)	It is not the employer who pays wages -- he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages.
Henry J. Tillman	The world is my lobster.
Howard Zinn (1922 - )	Wars are always wars against children. In every war, unforgivable numbers of children die.
Indira Gandhi	My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
Israel Zangwill	The Jews are a frightened people. Nineteen centuries of Christian love have broken down thier nerves.
J. D. Bernal	The full area of ignorance is not mapped: we are at present only exploring its frings.
J. Paul Getty (1892 - 1976)	If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
J. W. Schopf	For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.
Jack Benny	I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Handey	I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.
Jack Handey	I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.
James Michener	Unless you think you can do better than Tolstoy, we don't need you.
James Thurber (1894 - 1961)	I hate women because they always know where things are.
James Thurber	The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)	I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)	It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
Jay Leno	As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline.
Jay Leno (1950 - )	War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells "OIL."
Jay Leno	The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.
Jay Leno (1950 - )	Legislation is being introduced in Congress to make English the official language of the U.S. President Bush said, "Yeah, that's the goodest news I've heard in a long time."
Jay Leno (1950 - )	If you can prove you have broken the existing law for two years, you'll be protected under the new law. - (on provisions of proposed illegal-alien legislation)
Jay Leno (1950 - )	First Lady Laura Bush gave an address promoting the joys of reading. Then the President gave the rebuttal.
Jay Leno (1950 - )	George W. Bush had his annual physical exam recently. The doctor said the president was in excellent health -- from the neck down.
Jay Leno (1950 - )	President Bush says his administration will have a solution to global warming within six months. Well, yeah -- it's called winter.
Jay Leno (1950 - )	Did you hear the news about Iranian leader Mahmoud I'm-a Nutjob, isn't that his name?
Jay Leno (1950 - )	(Jay Leno was interviewing “President Bush”): J: May I ask you about official US policy toward some of the countries of Africa? B: Sure, go ahead. J: Kenya. B: Can I what?
Jay Leno (1950 - )	Scientists say we have five years to reverse global warming, or face serious consequences -- like maybe another Al Gore movie.
Jeanne Phillips	All the world's a cage.
Jeannette Rankin (1880 - 1973)	You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
Jed Babbin	... going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind. - (former deputy undersecretary of defense in the first Bush administration)
Jeremy Bentham	Every law is an infraction of liberty.
Jerome K. Jerome	I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerry Falwell (1933 - )	I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I’m going to buy a Suburban next time. - (Evangelist)
Jerry Falwell (1933 - 2007)	It is God's planet -- and he's taking care of it. And I don't believe that anything we do will raise or lower the temperature one point. - (Evangelist)
Jerry Falwell (1933 - 2007)	The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability. - (Evangelist)
Jerry Falwell (1933 - 2007)	Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.
Jerry Seinfeld	It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jimi Hendrix	When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
Jimmy Carter	We Americans are proud of our military achievements, and war almost invariably brings instant popularity to the President, who changes in the public perception from a beleaguered civilian administrator to a dynamic commander in chief when our brave young men and women go into combat.
Joe Jacobi of the ’Skins	I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl. - ((See also Matt Millen))
Joey Adams (1911 - 1999)	Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad-libs.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic	The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that traders were quite busy already.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic	The wrong side of the tracks is on top of them.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic	I googled the quote 'Power means not having to respond.' Nothing happened.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic	The Law of Scary Laws: For any behavior, policy or belief X, one's personal disapproval of X can be expressed as a scary law of the form: 'Those who fail to stand up to X will sooner or later find themselves at X's feet.'
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic	You go your way, and I'll go thine.
John Dominic Crossan	We always say that victory begets peace, but it never does. - (Roman Catholic theologian)
John F. Kennedy	Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
John Lehman (1981 - 1987)	Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
John Maynard Keynes (1883 - 1946)	Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking.
John Muir (1838 - 1914)	In my first interview with a Sierra bear we were frightened and embarrassed, both of us, but the bear's behavior was better than mine. - (Naturalist)
John Muir (1838 - 1914)	I have never yet happened upon a trace of evidence that seemed to show that any one animal was eager for another as much as it was made for itself. - (naturalist)
Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)	Laws are like cobwebs, which catch small flies but let wasps and hornets break through.
Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)	Law is a bottomless pit; it is a cormorant, a harpy that devours everything.
Joseph Heller	The enemy is anybody who is going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. - (Catch-22)
Joss Whedon (1964 - )	Always be yourself... unless you suck.
Judge Judy	Sir, don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
Judge Judy	Do you come from a long line of idiots?
Karl Friedrich Gauss	Ask her to wait a moment -- I am almost done. - (while working, when informed his wife was dying)
Karl Kraus	War is, at first, the hope that we will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.
Leon Trotsky (1879 - 1940)	You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you. - (born Lev Bronstein)
Lily Tomlin (1939 - )	Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)	It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.
Luis Bunuel	Nothing would disgust me more, morally, than recieving an Oscar.
M. C. Escher	He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
Mahatma Gandhi	An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mahatma Gandhi	First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Máiread Corrigan-Maguire (1944 - )	We don't accept nuclear weapons; we don't accept the fact that we train men and women to kill each other. We want to disarm human hearts and human beings, one by one, country by country and that's a big task. - (founder of Peace People in Northern Ireland)
Marilyn Monroe	Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you 1,000 dollars for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	Wagner's music is better than it sounds
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain	Whiskey's for drinking. Water's for fighting over.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)	Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Marsha Warfield	Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Martin Luther	If I were God, I'd kick the world to pieces.
Matt Millen of the Raiders	To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too. - ((see also Joe Jacobi))
Menenius	The existence of bad women is, and has always been, due to the existence of good women.
Michael Wikoff	Power is a wonderful thing that people without it like to say corrupts people with it.
Mister Boffo	If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.
Moshe Dayan	If we lose this war I shall start another in my wife’s name.
Murphy	If the enemy is in range, so are you!
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)	The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)	Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte	Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Nathaniel Borenstein	The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Niccolo Machiavelli	It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Nietzsche	War makes the victor stupid and the vanquished vengeful.
Norman Ford	Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.
Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)	People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Oliver Wendell Holmes	This is a court of law young man, not a court of justice.
Omar Bradley (1893 - 1981)	The way to win an atomic war is to make certain it never starts.
Orville Wright	No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris. No known motor can run at the requisite speed for four days without stopping.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)	I like Wagner's music better than any other music. Itis so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says. That is a great advantage.
Oscar Wilde	Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
Oscar Wilde	As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar; it will cease to be popular.
oscar wilde	women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every women is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.
Otis Beck (1979 - )	Job- a term used to describe most people in the civilized world today: just over broke.
Pat Coffey (1949 - )	Hell and all its firepower cannot match up to the wrath of a pissed off women
Patton	A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end.
Patton	No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards dying for their country.
Paul Rodriguez	Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
Pete Hamill	The city of right angles and tough, damaged people. - (on New York City)
Peter da Silva	Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
Peter da Silva	Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
Plato (427 - 347 B.C.)	Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato	Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Plato	War does not detemine who is right,it determines who is left.
Plato (427 BCE - 347 BCE)	Only the dead have seen the end of war.
Prime Minister Montjoy	Ladies and gentlemen, there is no more profitable course of action, then to go to war with the United States and lose! - (In, "The Mouse That Roared")
Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands	My country can never again afford the luxury of another Montgomery success.
Quentin Crisp	To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
Quentin Crisp (1908 - 1999)	There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get any worse. - (British writer, actor and wit)
Ralph W. Sockman (1889 - 1970)	The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.
Rebecca West	The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.
Rev. Nathaniel Ward	The world is full of care, much like unto a bubble; Women and care and care and women, and women and care and trouble.
Richard Feynman	I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.
Rita Rudner (1953 - )	Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' 'On what?' 'On fire?'
Robert A. Heinlein	Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)	Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Burton	I may not omit those two main plagues and dotages of mankind, wine and women, which have infatuated and besotted millions of people. They go commonly together.
Robert E. Lee	It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it.
Robert E. Lee	It is well that war is so terrible--we shouldn't grow too fond of it.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)	A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)	The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
Robert Lynd	The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Robert Morley	Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public.
Robin Williams (1951 - )	What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. - (comedian)
Robin Williams (1951 - )	I'm sorry. If you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams (1951 - )	Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
Robin Williams (1951 - )	We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like "We have to get rid of dictators," but he's pretty much one himself.
Ronald Reagan (1911 - )	My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
Ronald Reagan	Well, I would -- if they realized that we -- again if -- if we led them back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive that they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.
Russell Baker	New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian
Russian proverb	External peace lasts only until the next war.
S. J. Perelman	This medal [the National Book Award], together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide -- except at Bloomindale's.
Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980)	It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Shaquille O'Neal	I've won at every level, except college and pro.
Shirin Abadi	When 80 percent of the world's wealth belongs to 1 percent of the people, how can we expect peace? - (2003 Nobel Peace Prize recipient)
Sir Almroth Wright	They are not far from the truth who allege there is no such thing as a good woman. There are only women who have been influenced by good men.
Sir James Dewar	Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
Solomon Short	The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
Solomon Short	Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.
Solomon Short (David Gerrold)	The enforcement mechanism for the rules of war is usually more war.
Solomon Short (David Gerrold)	As long as war is an alternative, it will always be the answer.
Stan Dunn	And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle.
Star Trek	War is only fun when you are winning.
Stephen L. Millich (1941 - )	Women dine; men feed.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	The only thing worse than "Trust me, I'm a lawyer" is "Trust me, I'm your lawyer."
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	A woman begins to need a man when she realizes self-torture will no longer suffice.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	A lawsuit is a necesssary waste of time.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	The insult is the greatest form of praise one lawyer can have for another.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	One woman is as bad as another but some are better than others.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	Weeds are like Jehovah Witnesses, there's no quit in them
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	Weeds are like Jehovah Witnesses, there's no quit in them.
Stephen Millich (1941 - )	Rap music is irrefutable proof of global warming.
Steve Martin	I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steven Wright	Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright	I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Wright	What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright	Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Steven Wright	Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back.
Steven Wright (1955 - )	Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
Stewart L. Udall	We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.
Suzanne Necker	Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)	Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
T.S. Eliot	Where is the knowledge that is lost in information? Where is the wisdom that is lost in knowledge?
Ted Turner	Nuclear war would really set back cable.
The Firesign Theatre	Hello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute.
Theodore Roosevelt	When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all.
Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)	We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
Thomas Berger	Why do writers write? Because it isn't there.
Thomas Carlyle	War is a quarrel between two thieves too cowardly to fight their own battle.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)	I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)	The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)	The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)	It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour.
Thomas Mann	A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Timothy Leary	Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Tom Cruise	He's used to ducking. - (after a Baghdad news conference where an Iraqi newsman threw his shoes at Bush)
Unknown	I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
Unknown	All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
Unknown	A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
Unknown	Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Unknown	Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
Unknown	At home they give you the chair. Here they give you a medal! - (Spoken from a soldier to an officer during the Zulu War)
Unknown	All work and no play makes jack, and lots of it.
Unknown	The copier is currently out of whack. More whack is on order.
Unknown	The weakest part of my body is a woman's eyes.
unknown	Join the army! Meet new people! Kill them!
Unknown	Work fascinates me --I could sit and watch it all day.
Unkown	The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.
Unkown	Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
Vegetius	Let him who desires war, prepare for peace.
Vince Lombardi	If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi	We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Vincent Canby	We are drawn to our television sets each April the way we are drawn to the scene of an accident. - (On the Academy Awards)
Voltaire (1694 - 1778)	A witty saying proves nothing.
Voltaire	I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
Voltaire (1694 - 1778)	It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. - (philosopher)
W. C. Fields (1890 - 1946)	I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
W. L. George	Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
W. N. Ewer	I gave my life for freedom- that I know; For those who bade me fight had told me so.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)	She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
WALT HASKINS	Secrets should be regarded as what we tell others when we want something to be widely known. - (Author )
WALT HASKINS	It seems as though when we have no major problems, we do as newscasters do; we take small problems and make them large - (Author- COMMENTS USA)
WALT HASKINS	Early to bed and early to rise, lessens the need to economize. - (Author )
WALT HASKINS	"Going with the flow" often means going down the drain. - (Author "COMMENTS USA")
Walt Disney (1901 - 1966)	I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
Walt Haskins	If we were only considering the social behavior of mankind and of the great apes, we would conclude that the great apes evolved from man. - (Author )
Walt Haskins	Expecting wisdom from youth is like expecting apples from saplings. - (Author )
Walter Goodman	The idea of all-out nuclear war is unsettling.
Walter Winchell	Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)	I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)	Always drink upstream from the herd.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)	You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)	There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)	Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
William Faulkner (1897 - 1962)	It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)	He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.
William Westmoreland	The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.
Wilson Mizner	I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)	In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
Winston Churchill	If you are going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)	The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)	If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
Winston Churchill	One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once "The Unnecessary War."
Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)	A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
Woody Allen (1935 - )	It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Yogi Berra (1925 - )	Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded.

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